That one time, with Brandon… she was so tight but he adored her for it. He said that he loved her, even. Karen never had sex like that before. She completely released and relaxed. Everything fit, everything went well. She used to make herself laugh when she wanted to cry, say that she was just destined to be with the right person. Made for only one man, perfect fit.

Karen thought about Brandon’s eyes, and slipped the navy nighty up over her arms and ponytail. One slow breath out. No, it wasn’t going to be painful. She would get better at it. If no one loving was around to relax her and give her the chance… Karen lay down. She was sweating and hooked slippery black hair behind an ear. Yes. Oh, yes… Master Baruther with his golden eyes, he was with her now…

Mmm… perfect… yes… there you are. A little flame underneath each of your red, burnt scales. I stroke my hand down your shoulder. Each clicks shut under my fingers and little wisps of smoke seep away. I remove my hand, to feel your chest. I make the tiny flames ignite again. I’m trying to make love, but here you are, already. He smiled with all his teeth. Howled for her again.

My own hands, so cold. Gone velvety blue… Oh, Brandon, what the hell have you done to me?

Karen caught her breath. It had been so good… she was in a haze, she felt. Her nightie was somewhere… she could not sort out the feel of it from her satin sheets in the dark. Then, she was wearing it. Karen had not remembered finding it or putting it on. The whole room was blue. She felt exhausted and pushed trembling hands over her face. So good… how far in did she get it? Karen made a face when she kicked the HK vibrator, rolling down somewhere at the bottom of the bed. Well, no point in checking now… she’d never know… if she’d improved? Go to sleep, girl…

The blue of the room swelled up. She was so sad. The desolate feeling so painful it brought her back awake. She’d let him down. What if he had been the one?

Karen turned in the bed. But then, and slowly, her eyes opened again. The end of her nose… seemed so far away. And it was cold. She licked it. So blue, really she was a perfect cobalt. Her sheets, her hands… heavy, fingers curled tight as paws against it… the thick choking blue enveloped her. Karen saw how she truly was, how she felt icy. How hard she was frozen.

Karen coughed and cried. Why had there never been anyone else? Waiting all this time, needing for so long for one good male… just one. Please. Waiting with no hope, with no help. Nor could she find another woman like her, whom she could ask… what to do. Girl, what do you do? Can’t you do something when it’s like this? But would they even understand her? If she found more of her kin, her pack… Like she wasn’t even human. Karen knew she was no better than a monster. She felt disgusted when she got dressed in the mirror, in the mornings… What good was her woman’s body? Because of this damned problem, so unnatural to womanity… it was so easy for everyone else. Except for with Brandon. Could there be anyone else?

Blue… deep… sleep, girl. You must sleep, when blue envelops.

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Chapters

Part Two: When Blue Envelops
1, Crushing Velvet :: 2, Cold Cobalt :: 3, The Sapphire Hound :: 4, The Teal Pack :: 5, Lone Wolf :: 6, The High Howler :: 7, The Other Planet, Earth :: 8, This is a Dog’s World

Part One: When Red Expands
1, Mistress Howlar-haelia Turim :: 2, Nine to Five Dreams :: 3, Awakening :: 4, Back in Red