Karen Jung had a routine, a secret routine, a super secret special little routine involving her favorite Hello Kitty toy… sorry to say, yes, she knew she was one of those weird girls… Hello Kitty everywhere. And it happened every night after she made herself shut off the iPhone. Made herself shut her eyes. Let herself lay still, cheat… think of him, one of her exes… anyone, just pick one… Well, you always do pick him, don’t you? With the spikey hair, who could kiss so well on the train. In front of everybody on the Metro.
Brandon Moreno and her hadn’t lasted long. They said they were just going to have coffee, but after, she twined their pinky fingers and pulled him running down Columbia Road. Her apartment was nice, he said. But then they were fucking, and yelling. He howled.
No he didn’t.
Or, maybe that was exactly how he did it. He howled. For her.
She didn’t text him back. Karen was so embarrassed, had just got out of something serious, was having weird dreams… he would think the worst of her anyway, and she wasn’t ready. And she didn’t even know him, and she felt so pathetic for hesitating. Sometimes she just hated herself, so why would he even ever…
Karen flipped up the dildo in her hand. She loved doing it expertly like that, a flick of her wrist, one quick sweep around. And she made a mean face, brandishing it, until she laughed at herself. So, she calmed herself down. Karen swallowed and looked the white rod over. The wrong end had a familiar cathead on it, a red bow over one ear.
But that was just it, the thing was silly, it helped her to feel alone, that she was quiet and in a private space. No man around to be disappointed in her or ask her to hurry up. Once, she dated a guy who was so impatient for sex, he just left after a few dates, only a few tries… well, she would work out being mostly a virgin on her own.
Part Two: When Blue Envelops
1, Crushing Velvet :: 2, Cold Cobalt :: 3, The Sapphire Hound :: 4, The Teal Pack :: 5, Lone Wolf :: 6, The High Howler :: 7, The Other Planet, Earth :: 8, This is a Dog’s World