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Paperclip Safari 4: The Origin of Office Supplies Species

What happens when you google ‘the origin of the wild paperclip’ and nothing substantial comes up?  Well, another great thing about Washington, DC, is that you can find any wonderful book about any topic your heart might dream of… at the Library of Congress.  While Valerie struggles to recover from an angry retaliation by Titan (not to worry, he targeted her shoestrings), I decided to do some research on the mysterious origins of the elusive wild paperclip.  Hopefully, it will broaden our story.  Above, is a page taken from Theodore T. Marsner’s The Origin of Office Supplies’ SpeciesIt is a fossilized primordial paperclip discovered 1,000 years ago–in excellent condition isn’t it?  What appears to be a female fossil is lined up next to a modern-day male Silverback, for perspective.

Eopaper Clippius, 50 million years ago.

Though the tiny rubber stegosaurus is chronologically misplaced, many of the other ancient species are excellent together in a museum-ish setting–even the exotic faux-clip, which imitates a vicious safety pin.

One can only wonder at the amazing size of the ancient golden female paperclip.  What does it suggest about the dimensions and regal nature of her lost mate of 50 million years ago?  What does this must mean about their diet during the Early Eocene Era?  This was also the age of the early horse, known as Eohippus.  Additionally, I wonder at downtown’s Natural History Museum not featuring Eopaper Clippius, when its sparkle might cheer a lot of the exotic models and fossils.  Imagine an entire mural of early Paper Clippius!

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